A (Late) Review of Goblin Slayer: Is it worth watching?

Goblin Slayer was one of the most discussed shows in fall of 2018, with lots of conversation rising from its opening episode that was taken controversially by some. This review was originally written to fit to the traditional MAL review format (i.e. the dumb format of rating stuff by story, art, overall,) This is only a review of the first episode.

Story: 1

Goblin Slayer is a dumb edgelord anime, except it’s ‘brave’ enough to include a rape scene right at the first episode. After all, what could be a better way to convince your readers of how cruel your world is and suck them into your story than some gals getting raped? Well honestly I don’t think that’s the worst idea in the world, but the way in which Goblin Slayer tries to shock you with its rape is laughable. It’s abundantly clear from the very beginning what is going to happen to the characters we are briefly introduced to(before they are oh so terribly violated by your dear goblins).

You can’t really call what goes on in the first episode foreshadowing; The adventurers shit talk goblins for a bit, demonstrate how unprepared they are, just about in the most obnoxious way possible. They are all very clearly shown to be idiots, and the author doesn’t even try to make them likable. So when to everyone’s surprise, they lose to the goblins… well, who cares? I’m not going to say that the writing in the show makes you want the characters to be raped and/or killed, but for there to be any meaningful shock value in your “twist”– for you to effectively demonstrate everyone how cruel your world is, you have to first convince your audience to feel some attachment to the characters that you’ve doomed to a terrible fate. Instead, Goblin Slayer shows you a couple of assholes and then they get le dunked on.

Also the dialogue, especially the character Goblin Slayer’s, feels just slightly off, that months after watching the first episode, Edy and I ended up referencing some random shit like “A lot.“

Art: 1

“ok Jun, but who cares about the writing? Bad excuses for a plot, girls getting raped by goblins, isn’t it obvious that this is just an excuse to titilate the viewers who just want some steamy 「girl x monster」action?”

Now I will be honest, I would not consider myself a hentai rape connoisseur. So instead I will provide you with a quote from the wise Digibro: “The rape isn’t even good!”

Goblin Slayer is ugly. Not only are the character designs so awfully generic, but the art style itself actually looks like most factory produced hentai.

But wait! Goblin Slayer is actually really experimental in its visual presentation! There are some scenes in the first episode which involve everything turning monochrome, with just characters’ eyes and blood shining in bright red. A gimmick that surely, no one in the history of the entire universe has ever done… oh wait.

But that’s okay, most things in media have already been done before. You can more than make up for your lack of originality through execution, and there are some real arguments to be made about the kind of unfortunate fact that most works with original ideas were never able to bounce off of and improve upon previous media using the same idea. So, to what purpose does the 2019 anime of the year, Goblin Slayer, use this monochrome+red effect for? Well… it… it looks kinda cool…? (It doesn’t actually.) What it does achieve though is a minor distraction for the viewer. There is no real effect achieved by this cheap visual gimmick in Goblin Slayer– there’s no meaningful commentary or reason behind why the blood and eyes of characters is the only color left in the scene. It’s just a creative decision that stems from someone thinking, “Well it’ll look cool!” but what the audience actually ends up thinking is, “Blood sure is red… yep…”

The anime also puts on that terrified, contorted face at every opportunity it can find and, just like pretty much every other show that uses it, it’s embarrassing and looks terrible.

I’ve seen bits and pieces of the second episode, which introduces a childhood friend character, and her tits are just way too fucking big, it’s distracting and the way it’s animated just looks stupid and out of place. This anime is also filled with tons and tons of CG, and most incredible of all is that in the show’s ending movie (which is literally just a loop of the main character walking towards the camera) THE MAIN CHARACTER IS IN CG!!!! How is this real

Enjoyment: 1

I hate this show. 

Conclusion:

I love this show! My doctor has been prescribing me Ambien to fall asleep, but I just fire up Goblin Slayer instead and save so much money! Thank you Goblin Slayer!

Overall: 10